Me against the elements

It's been very windy and very rainy here for the past two days. And the weather is deliciously damp and wonderful....adrak-elaichi waali chai, anyone? :D

Cloud break. (The black speck is a leaf carried on the wind.)

The sky always mesmerizes me.
:)

(That white thing is my dupatta being whipped along the wind. And that's my hand trying to pull it away from the front of the lens but guess I didn't do that in time.)

(I clipped this camera cover to the clothesline with my clutcher. Weird inspiration: "Caught by a Butterfly" :D)

So I was trying to catch one of those fickle lightening flashes on the cam and after several missed chances and a lot of oops-there-goes-a-brilliant-photo-op-right-before-my-eyes types moments, I decided there was no point trying to do so. In one last desperate attempt, I said to the heavens : "Look, this is the last time I'm trying for today. There must be a lightening flash just as I press the capture button. And this is a warning."

I pressed the button, and voila! there was lightening. A brilliant hot copper-purple flash that spectacularly split apart the darkness and streaked across the dark ashen sky in a dazzling electric arc. A picture-perfect bolt.

The glitch? It flashed in the direction exactly opposite to where my camera was pointed for supposedly taking a pic of it. :(

Guess the next time I issue warnings to the heavens, it should be with all the necessary conditions attached. :|

I managed to capture just a scintillation.

(All pictures copyright me. Please do not use without permission and/or credits.)

Her Princess Dreams

Our local presswali’s daughters Beena and Puja got married recently. Beena’s a bit older than me and Puja is all of 11-12. Yeah, and she was wed off, though she will be staying with her mother only for a few more days. When I first heard this I did, but now I don’t really blame their mother as such. What else was she supposed to do- her husband walked out on them after a bout of heavy drinking once 7-8 years back and she doesn’t even know he is alive or not; she can hardly scrape some money together from her daily job of ironing people’s clothes and other such odd jobs here and there in a few houses. And she herself is a very frail, weak woman, having recently suffered multiple fractures while repairing their one-room shack. I guess she needed some anchorage- an assurance that someone will be there to look after her daughters if she’s dead and gone. There’s another reason as well. She couldn’t afford to organize two different wedding ceremonies, however unlavish, at two different points of time.

But will the girls really be ‘looked after’ as such? I wonder. From all that I know of Beena, she’s a very serious, very somber girl, already apparently weighed down by life. I haven’t seen her smile often. And she’s probably gone to just another small town and will have to keep on doing all that she did here, with the added cares of a household that she would be supposed to manage. And her husband will perhaps, a few years down the line, hang out with the village prostitutes, come back drunk and possibly walk out on their relation just like her father did.

God forbid, but if something like that happens, what about her princess dreams- you know, the kind where everybody gets to live happily ever after? It’s hard to believe that, but maybe her circumstances never allowed her to have any. Who knows.

Do you have a six-pack?

Overheard:

Dudette saunters into the supermarket. Browses the electronics section.

Sales guy at the counter: You looking for something, madam?

Dudette: Yes..er...are rechargeable batteries available?

Sales guy: Yeah, of course...

Dudette: Alrite. *long pause* Okay...so...do you have a six-pack?

Sales guy: What???

Dudette: Arre...a six-pack..I want a pack of six batteries.

Sales guy: Oh, okay.

:D I would consider it an amusing life if I came across such characters several times during a day at work.
Seriously, such people! I mean, that guy would really have been amused at some girl asking him if he had a six-pack...and the best part is, the dudette never had a clue what she had apparently spoken. :D

And there are other reasons why supermarket staffers lead interesting lives. There used to be these two young sales people at the Jaipur Shopper's Stop...the girl was usually on her shift in the ethnic wear section and whenever any of the people shopping wanted to see how a particular saree looked when worn, the girl would willingly oblige, call up the guy and then stand and twirl in front of the mirror while the guy tied the saree around her waist over her uniform, both of them exchanging coy glances in between.
:)

Like I said, there are several reasons that make shopping amusing. Got something to share?

Every darn post does not need a title

So today the 20 day long nightmare that were my Board exams ended. No it did not go as I intended. "Ace the boards" was something that I did in X, two years back, and it has featured on my new year to-do list for the past two years, but in a completely careless loop of procrastination, overestimation and underperformance, I'm far from what I meant to do. And I can never get there. At least not in the Boards.
All I have is consolation that I aced just two of the five exams.

And I'm shamelessly blogging about it. Can't help it. I have to let it out somehow.
I need not be so bitter, I know...but what else are you supposed to feel when something crucial that you had been meaning to do for so long does not come to pass, and all you have to blame is you? It's like, I have this endlessly repeating loop of causes and effects and could-have-beens and should-have-dones that has been running over in my head ever since February 29th and I'm sick of it. Bloody sick.
And I don't know what to do.

Anyways. There's a limit to pointless rants. I'll shut up.

And before I go back to making another fresh new study schedule for myself, hoping against hope it gets completed, I'll just post this tag that Nids wanted me to do.

Here goes:

• Describe your perfect Sunday morning?

Wake up sinfully late, indulge un-guiltily all day and not have an exam the entire week. (Yeah. I'm obsessed with exams and stuff these days.)
(AND I'm not specifying all the indulgence. :P )

• Favorite song of all time?

"Dekha Hai Aise Bhi" by Lucky Ali. If not the most, it's at least one of the faves. The lyrics are simple yet magical. And lyrics are always 90% of the reason why I like a particular song.

• How tall are you?

5"2'. That can hardly be called tall. :(

• If you could be successful at any job in the world, what would that job be?

Anchoring a travel show. No seriously, if I don't get to do that the universe will be deprived of something really worth it. *blows delicately at her fingernails*

• If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

Venice. Or Santorini. Or Beverly Hills. Yeah, Beverly Hills. There I could make a dazzling career out of being a gossip columnist if the travel show does not work out. :P

• If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be?

I don't know. Vanisha Mittal, maybe. Actually there would be no point in that. That entire day I would probably be thinking about having to be me the next. Question rejected. (IVAN says write "Condoleeza Rice." Duh.)

• If you have friends coming for supper what would you cook?

Adrak waali chai. Plus anything else, on demand. Only vegetarian stuff.

• What is your favorite word?

Serendipity. Any doubts?

• What makes you cry?

Certain random realizations that come uncalled-for.

• If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be?

A Koala. They sleep so much but nobody complains. :P

• If you could time travel to the past to correct any mistakes you feel you’ve made, would you?

Oh yeah! Multiple times, actually. And hopefully I won't make fresh mistakes while doing that.

• Do you believe that the cup is half empty or half full?

Half full. I would prefer full full though.

• What do you do for fun?

Read books on Advanced Quantum Physics. If you were naive enough to believe me, I should tell you I was kidding. Terrify all ye mortals by throwing hypothetical vases/ pointing hypothetical guns/ thwacking with hypothetical rolled newspapers :P

• Are you an outdoor or an indoor person?

Depends.

• Where do you see yourself in five years?

In some hostel room downing caffeine and cramming for a test. (Told ya I'm obsessed about exams...)

• What are you most proud of in your life?

Right now, nothing. Yeah you heard me right.

• When do you plan on getting married?

Not for quite a long time.

• Get the number or give the number?

Get the number first. To call or not call, that is the question.

• Romance or Kinky Sex?

Both. ;)

• How do you feel?

With the skin. Meissener's corpuscles and End bulbs of Krause and Ruffini, to be specific. But sometimes viscerally too, with the soul.

• What size shoe do you wear?

Four.

• What is your favorite clothing brand?

No permanent choices. Mango is good. But right now I'm kinda into FabIndia stuff :D

• Water or 100% Juice?

Water.

• T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular, Cingular/AT&T, or Sprint/Nextel?

BSNL. (Jai Hind!) :D

• Would you rather be hot or cold?

Cold! Deliciously cold.

• Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?

Agree with Nids. None of these.

• Favorite Place to Eat?

It varies...

• Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?

Concert. Not hard rock.

• Most Memorable Past?

Moments I've realized that it's wonderful to be in love. With life.

• Most embarrassing moment?

(You expect me to blurt it out here?? :O)

• If you had to pick one car, which would it be?

A ritzy orange Lamborghini Superleggera. Or the Lexus hybrid if I'm feeling 'green'.
:)

• Your favorite Disney Films?

So many of them....I loved all the Princess stuff... :)

• Why did the chicken cross the road?

All living organisms have an inbuilt genetic but environmentally influenced predisposition to go see what's on "the other side". :P In one word: curiosity.

• Do you support Paris?

Paris which?? Sarko's Paris or that Hotelwaali? :D

• Where is Waldo?

No idea. Nobody entrusted him to my care.

• Favorite element?

Platinum. With lots of diamonds thrown in :P

• What was your last thought?

What must have been the inspiration behind naming it Firefox...? (I'm doing this tag backwards.) :D

• Firefox, Internet Explorer, Netscape, or other?

Firefox.

• Who are you going to vote for ?

Haven't decided.

• Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?

Juice and crackers. OJ, to be specific.

• Which is worse? A bad laugh or a bad cough?

A bad laugh.

• Are you a cat or a dog person?

I'm not a cat. Or a "dog person". :D But I like animals. and 'feline' sounds better than 'canine'.

• Would you rather be blind or deaf?

None of these. This is not a question to be asked in the tone of "Would you have coffee or tea?" Wonder who started this tag. *shudder*

• Define yourself in three four words…

He-ah vi-iya me-ne mmay

(That's an artificial language. Google it up and decipher. Haha, I know how to waste people's time. The meaning in English might be an anticlimax. Maybe you expect something tantalizing. :P)
Awrite. I'll be gracious and tell you what to google up. The language is called Loxian.

• Do you eat cold cereal at night?

Don't have to, so I don't.

• What is your favorite TV show?

I don't have favorite shows, but I've liked Heroes, among a few others.

• Do you shower every single day?

Of course!

• Boat or bus?

Boat, if available. The question is pointless if you consider option #1 of question #5.

• What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out?

Say "Wrong number, dude." and run walk off with dignity. :D (No offense, Nids!)

• What is your favorite food?

Now that's a very naive question. Lemme think...

• Do you read Harry potter books?

I did.

• If you could have one super human power what would you choose?

Ability to modify the space-time continuum. :D The ability to switch to any superhuman power as and when I wish. (Come on, that's allowed! :P )

• Have you had a beer in the last week?

No. Pathetic, yeah?

• Vitamin Water or Gatorade?

None.

• Favorite body part?

My own? Eyes.

• Flip flops or sandals?

Stilettos.

• What do you do on Fridays?

Nothing special. Think about what I wrote in the answer to question #1 maybe.

• Do you like bananas?

Kind of.


I decide to tag Sparkles, Arti di, Lemonade, Abhi, and Birdy. And you.

Shopping trips can be amusing for several reasons

(Got it? ) :D

Ingliss is so con-phyoo-jing, no? :P

A Polynesian Rhapsody

I was experimenting with a style I hadn't tried in poetry: experience projection. Describing through somebody else's eyes, not your own. Writing as how they would have felt in a given situation. And I came up with this, inspired by "Pioneers of the Pacific" a recent article in the National Geographic Magazine (Roff Smith and Stephen Alvarez, March 2008) about an ancient race of Native Pacific explorers who discovered and colonized almost all of the hundreds of then uninhabited, scattered Pacific islands east of Australia, including Fiji, Tahiti, Easter Island, Polynesia, starting 3000 years back. Their daring voyages in those ancient times have been equated to lunar landings of 1900s in terms of their relative boldness at the time they were undertaken.

They used to undertake long voyages on their hand-built and hand-rigged canoes (no fossil fuel power 3000 years ago :) ), searching for new islands to settle upon. It wasn't like they were forced to move, or that there was pressure on the land. They numbered only a few thousands and the islands were way too many, nearly 300 in Fiji alone. They did it all just for the sake of exploring new frontiers. Researchers now say that one of the reasons why they were able to undertake such long and daring voyages was that they went against the direction of generally prevailing wind currents, so that even if they did not discover any new land, they could just turn around and the wind would take them back where they started from.
Eventually, in a 1000 next years or so, their descendants perhaps reached South America also, eastward from Australia.

So I kind of got inspired from the concept and the wonderful photography in the article and wrote something. It captures a particular moment in the life of two of these people---a couple. The man is setting out on an indefinite voyage to the sea, not knowing when he will be able to return, and even if he will return or not---because after all it's going to be him against the ocean. Here is what his beloved says to him before he sets out.

Go forth, mariner
The blue stretches to infinity
Discover a new paradise
For the two of us...

May the gods guide your way,
The heavens steer you right
And when your spot new land
Marked by towering banks of cloud
Beyond the dusky horizon
And billowing fumes from boiling lava
Oozing into the ocean,
May the guardian spirits
Protect your canoe from the heat..

But if you do not find it
Ride the trade winds back home soon
I'll be waiting
In our moss-hung cave beneath the cliff
Obsidian will shimmer
Vivid tropical blossoms will sparkle
In my soul
Getting a whiff of
Your intoxicating scent of the sea
Paradise wherever you will be.

*Obsidian is a kind of beautiful natural volcanic glass used in that culture for making ornaments and stuff.

This collage was complied by me for the poem.



The text of the NGM article can be found here.
Pics courtesy Google Image Search, Corbis and Stephen Alvarez for NGM.
Poem (c) Sanyukta, March 2008.

Just a few pictures

Back home

Through the branches

Rainforest tangle in miniature

Cloudy

Buoyancy

Glisten

A little paradox

Paradox#2

Maybe tomorrow I will open up

Two is company, and three is crowd, ain't that what they say?

Hiding behind you

Picture quality is kinda low. Blame that on my pathetic 2MP phone. I was too lazy to go back downstairs from the rooftop and bring the cam.

T.G.I.F

Womanhood is a gift. Thank God I'm Female! :)

Happy Women's Day to us.

Why physics always reminds me of Rome

Yeah, life is generally good. Except that I kind of screwed up my Chem Board Exam paper. No it ain't that bad actually, but not as good as I wanted it to be. (And that, my readers, is the metaphor for life.)
(Gawd. I sound like Charlotte Bronte.) :D

Now next is physics and I'm taking no chances with it at least. But for how long can you keep appreciating the elegant nuances of subatomic particles and the intangible dynamics of semiconductor electronics? Not that I don't like studying stuff. But I'm wishing I had studied harder last year. Heck, even this last month.
And I increasingly feel I have more inclination towards literature, languages, history, myth, art, designing, ya know, stuff like that. Non-technical intellectuality. More human stuff.
Or Life Sciences. I could read biology day in and day out and not get tired of it. And I like all that. Yeah I know I'll have enough of even that in some med course (for which I'll have a fiz exam first. Argh.) I have enough of that supposed-to-study-stuff in bio even now.
But. I'm. Supposed. To. Mug. Fiz. Now.

On second thoughts, physics is kinda cool. And people hold science people (like, real science people. Researchers, scientists.) in more awe than they do designers/authors/historians. I mean, not as people, but their work in generally more respected, or should I say, considered more erudite. Or at least that's what I have observed. (Remember Vittoria Vetra, anybody? :D)
( I wouldn't mind being a physicist if that would, in addition, also make me as lean, as confident, and as smart as what she was portrayed to be. It's not like I'm particularly horrible. Glowing skin, check. Long black hair, check. Earthy features, maybe. "Raw sensuality"? Not for myself to judge :P But slender like that? I wish.
No seriously, I think she was pretty cool. Her whole character. And driving around Rome examining old churches for clues to a wild macabre treasure-hunt-like chase...and that too with a smart, macho, swimmer-physique, Harvard-brain guy (*sigh*) while an un-found Antimatter bomb is ticking away to total annihilation. That all would be totally my thing too. :D )

See? Started off talking about physics. Guess I gotta go back to my teeny-tiny atoms and nuclei doing that crazy decay-dance of theirs.

But who would ever believe that of all the people in the world (or now out of it :D), it was nobody else but Dan Brown who inspired me to study fizix with less hatred. :D At least for some time.

Indiyeah, meet your latest supah-model

Adorable, ain't she? :) My sis ready for her first day of school. (And oh, I taught her this pose.)

Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost !

Our school days ended officially on Saturday with our farewell. I'll give you some of the pics and the nostalgia stuff later. Right now, here is the talk I gave to the gathering :

"Good afternoon Reverend Father Principal, honorable staff...hi XIthies, and the ladies and not-so-gentlemen of the class of 2008,

stating the obvious, I feel nostalgic. Yeah, it's a strange moment, saying goodbye to a place you've been in for so much time...14 years in my case. This place has given me so much I can't possible ever explain. And now to think that I am going to go away..no more an active part of this...feels so empty. The very thought ki ab roz subah school nahi jaana hai...that school's ended, khatamm, officially, is very strange, believe me.

Teachers, aapse bass yehi kehna hai ki...
Hum aapko bhool jaayein aise ho nahi sakta,
Aur aap humein bhool jaayein aisa hum hone nahi denge. :)

Really, you all have been the cornerstones of life...thanks a lot, humein jhelne ke liye, humein guide karne ke liye. And hum log itne buray bhi nahi hain jitna lagta hai, trust me. We all love you, adore you, respect you, forever. Jaate jaate appse haath jod ke maafi maangti hoon agar kabhi bhi koi bhi galti huyi ho toh. Bhool-chook maaf keejiyega. :)

My dear juniors. First of all, thanks. Thanks for making this day memorable for us. Pehle lag raha thaa ki yeh hamari farewell party nahi, hamari kick-out party hogi...but no, this day has been so cherishable. Thanks again. Aap logo ne after all prove kar hi diya ki aap hamare juniors hain. :D
And yeah, aap sab 11thies ke liye kuchh bahut hi interesting lines hain....sunaakar toh jaaoongi, naaraz mat hona please....it goes like this :

Aapse bichhadne ki khabar milte hi hamare dil ki perfume bottle se sab kuchh bhaap bann kar ud gaya...khuda kare aap jaise dhakkan sabko mile. :D
Wish you all a great life ahead.

And my dear classmates. You people are some of the most wonderful, most amazing, most bindass people I have ever met. Vishwaas nahi ho raha na? :D I mean lag nahi raha hoga ki aap sab log itne achchhe hain, but trust me, I'm right. School has been great, and hopefully the days ahead are so also.
To the boys: Guys, listen here, this is for you......bhailog, college mein bird-watching ke siwaa padhai bhi karna....and prove to the world that you all have the worth that you have. You can so do it....wish you a great life. You guys are wonderful. ;)

To the girls: two tips-- first, Keep wearing sunscreen, and second, let's avoid jealousy. :D Wish you a wonderful life too.

So thank you all for your time, yeh maante huye ki aap sunn rahe thay....be good, be responsible, be happy, keep smiling, enjoy your work, all the best with all that you do, have a wonderful life...this is Sanyukta sending her love and best wishes your way, forever."

There was so much more I could have said...wish I had. But well.

Aaaand the award goes to...

...who else but Yours Truly? Second time in a row, yeah. :) This year and the last, the UNSW-Macmillan IAIS English exam Medal for highest score in my state.

*blows delicately at her fingernails*

Thank you if you just said Congrats. :D

the two little beauties

detail

the certificate

Mission Intro

I don't think the new year has had a really great start for me. I mean, I'm lagging in all my study schedules, am past all the deadlines I set for myself...but no end in sight...And the strangest thing is, I’m not getting pro-active, like I usually happen to do.

Wish someone, something would show me the way, soon. I have the potential; don’t want to be just another wreck.

But I’ve realized that writing or any other form of creative expression is kinda necessary for me. When I don’t do anything creative for a long period of time, it’s like a clot in my head that needs to be gotten out to rid me of the pressure. Not very pretty analogy, I know.

So I think from now on I’ll blog on schedule—say twice/thrice a week at least. Or maybe I should fix a particular day. Yeah, that would be better. Blog on Sundays, Tuesdays; lock myself in a room with books, caffeine, and no internet on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays; and finish long-overdue tasks of saving the world on Saturdays. In between all this, teach my kid sister the alphabet and the correct words to “Johnny, Johnny” while trying not to think about little Johnny’s namesake supermodel-actor.
Also wash my little Carrie and supervise the maid while mom’s gone to work. (I found the maid watching The Bold and The Beautiful---just watching, coz she doesn’t understand English---in some of her idle minutes yesterday. :D)

Got to do some self-maintenance as well.

Maybe I should put off saving the world on Saturdays till all of this gets done. :D

So will try to keep you updated about Mission Status as often as possible, and other general randomness. Keep coming back.

(pics courtesy Corbis.com)

Happy 2oo8

A very happy, happy new year. I know I could have been more creative about it, but sometimes simple is the best way to be; and could-have-beens are some of the most futile words on earth, perhaps.

Okay, that was totally random.

No resolutions really for me this year. I've always been unable to really stick to any...so I decided to give it a break this time. The last year was pretty good, so much more than all I dared to hope for, though towards the end it brought me the deep forever loss of no less than three people very dear to me.

Maybe I should just try to sum up all that I learnt this year. In no particular order:

• It's good to stand up for something you believe in, and the world (or the part of it that you are trying to convince) will eventually see your point if it is right.
• "Getting lost doesn't always happen by accident."
• Always remember to back up your data before getting a hard-disk formatted. :/
• People forget your talents/traits unless you keep reminding them. By acts, not just words.
• When mom tells you to do something about some hideous pimples, better do it.
• Falling into reveries before an important exam isn't a very smart thing to do.
• It might be just a little seemingly casual thing/ word that might erode your trust in somebody, or somebody's in you.
• "Each day is the first day of the rest of your life." But you just can't keep starting afresh each day...u gotta begin, then proceed. You get nowhere by just beginning.
• It's easier to not make/ not keep promises. But in the long run, it's better to know in your heart that you made, and kept.
• Nothing is absolute. It's all relative.
• "Be anything but obvious", if you like. But then don't blame people if they interpret you some other way. :)
• However you keep claiming that "The sky is under my feet...", most of the people would still say you are upside down.
• Calling a person's demise "their birthday in heaven" lessens the poignance, but only just a tiny little bit.
• No matter how much you keep saying you don't want any; it's always a great feeling to have somebody genuinely care for you. :)

I have so much to do, prove in this year. To myself, to parents, to other people who matter...And this year I'll be turning 18, like BestFriend reminded me during our conversation last night. Finally, being an adult officially. (He would be 18 too, this month. Though, for him, "getting entry in clubs" is the most looked-forward-to part of the deal :D )

Anyways, I have tremendous expectations and apprehension-mixed hopefulness this year. May The Great Being Up There grant all of us peace, love, happiness, prosperity, strength to pursue our goals. Shalom Aleichem. Have a great new year and thereafter.

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Some of the best moments in life...

Lying in bed listening to the rain outside...
Thinking about the person you love...
A long drive on a calm road...
Finding money in your old jeans just when you need it...
Holding hands with a friend...
Getting a hug from someone who loves you...
The moment you are breathless after a hearty laugh..

Wishing you all these moments plentifully in the New Year and forever...

(feel free to add to the list :D)

About a man, his daughter, and a nonexistent son.

Sometimes I think Dad misses a son in his life. Of course, my parents don't believe in all that super crap about the son being the pride of the family and the parents' "ladder to heaven" like so many people in this majorly sick and prejudiced society of ours do. Me and lil sis are the very cornerstones of their life....they would do anything to see us happy.

Yet, sometimes I think Dad would have liked a son. He never ever hints/mentions anything of that sort, in fact, I don't even think this idea ever crossed his mind in its full realization. But perhaps it's always present in his sub-conscious.

When I was that little girl with short tomboy-ish hair, Dad used to rub them dry for me everytime I washed them. After a point, my hair grew too long for him to manage. That was the end of it. He once hinted at a set of toy cars when the same little girl wanted a new plaything. I made a face and chose a Barbie instead. And that was the end of it. When I was still that little girl, he used to buy denims from the garment store for me. After a point, I began to choose floral prints. That was the end of it too.

You see how it is...

• He won't ever get to hear another masculine voice at home that he can associate with a person in our family.

• Our family holiday album from last year doesn't contain a pic of him playing golf with his son at the Shillong Golf Course.

• We won't ever have an argument in the house about which latest bike to buy.

• I can't go on trekking trips with him all round the month anytime.

• He and mom can never imagine being cared for after retirement by a sweet daughter-in-law, like their siblings can.

• He still has to park both the cars inside the driveway himself every night. [*sigh*.....yeah, I'm still learning the safe parking part...the driveway-cum-parking area is pretty narrow :/]

• He still has to depend only on himself for calling / hassling / bargaining with usually grouchy car mechanics. [Yeah, I can manage the storekeeper / plumber / electrician / appliance servicing personnel...but mechanics are way too much! Plus I know like practically nothing about the anatomy of an automobile...let alone do even some minor fixing myself. Told you I'm learning. Don't label me the insensitive daughter.]

• He himself has to do all the putting-of-strings-of-lightbulbs-on-roof-and-walls at Diwali.

• He has only his voice to drawl along to sad oldie songs on the radio.

• Dad always has to rely on the judgement of the women in his life [mom and me, sis is way too small. :) ] besides his own judgement, in deciding everything from which t-shirts to buy to where to invest.

He is by far the strongest and yet the most sensitive guy I've ever known. Yet, I think he could have done with a little more help in all the everyday stuff. I do help him, but beyond a limit, he wouldn't let me, or would be extra-thankful, thus propelling me back into I'm-Daddy's-little-girl mode. And can you ever help anybody when the other person wouldn't take it, just for the sake of not troubling you, although he needs that help? Yeah, that's my Pops.

Like when I went to pay the phone and electricity bills for the first time, he gave me an extra 100 bucks for the mere fact of having successfully done so! And only yesterday when his car broke down and he called me to pick him up in mine, he said, "Thank God you can drive now..." And I was like "Sheesh, Dad, Don't make it so big...." . These are the times I think he thinks I'm going out of my way to help him, which is not the case. Yet, another day, when I hadn't cleaned up my car for long, he was like "If you drive, maintain the thing as well. See, Mr Y's son does that every weekend..." and I mentally said to him "How can I help it if you don't have a son?"
Now I guess that was wrong of me. I took his words in the wrong sense, he never meant to compare me to a son by his words, was only citing an example.

At 52, perhaps a 16-year-old daughter cannot help Dad as much as a guy could have. I might try to fill the gaps for Dad, but still, none of all the stuff that is the business of fathers and their sons will ever transpire between him and a younger guy. I see him looking fondly, almost-wistfully at my guy-friends, and I feel he misses a son in his life.

Don't worry, Dad. I'll make you proud one of these days. Just wait. And meanwhile, while you wait, just give me this month's bills to pay. And oh, the car mechanic's workshop number too.
I'll learn about automobile anatomy and money-matters eventually in time. But right now, I think we can go shopping for shirts at least.
:)

Just a few words

"Be careful when you give your heart to someone, because when you are giving your heart, you are not only giving that person the right to love you, but also the power to hurt you."

Quote courtesy BestFriend. Hmm…the guy speaks utter truth these days...

Meet IVAN

So, I think I should finally introduce you to someone very interesting, intelligent, and at the same time extremely exasperationg.

Meet my IVAN– Inner Voice that Annoys and Nags.
Rather a loose description, but then, Ivan IS loose. Always present at the back of my mind, this being has a tendency to pop up at the most unexpected moments, and is powerful enough to ruin my mood completely.

For example, a few days back I was kinda feeling glad about having assigned the color blue to love, in the series of haiku poems I’ve been writing in which I gave a color to each emotion. I started to think about a drink to associate love and the color blue with, like hope-yellow-lemonade-sweet, and happiness-pink-zinfandel-intoxicating. And suddenly Ivan shrieked happily : “Copper sulphate solution!”
So, right now, he’s doing an excited tribal dance, celebrating the beautiful (*rolls eyes*) way in which he has bonded together me, love, and—you guessed it—CuSO4.

Now you see why I hate this Ivan sometimes?

Well...

Have you ever noticed how sometimes some things just happen, or not happen. The same goes for me and blogging. All day long words, phrases, topics keep floating in my head, about people, situations, anything that can make a good something to write about...but then it just doesn't happen.

Guess I'm having a writer's block right now. It's good, in a way, Now all those huge, thick, hit-on-your-head-see-stars chem and physics books don't gather layers of dust like they used to. Having nothing better to do, I apply my precious creative imaginative mind inside my pretty head to actually think about how infinitely large charged metal plates with a dielectric between them behave and how are the properties of diamminechloridomethylamine platinum chloride different from those of tetraamminechloridonitrito-N cobalt chloride. (Yeah, don't you just love scientific jargon? :D )


Four long hours, actually six from tomorrow, of coaching classes in our supposed-to-be-summer-holidays doesn't really make a good background for being able to write happy-happy, non-crabby blog posts.

Friend since the silly days of eighth, Ank, says one day : "Gawd...life has become so complicated ever since we passed class tenth.. I really wish I could enjoy my present..." (Yeah, she's the type who would much prefer that to all boring phy, chem and math.)

But then, looks like we only have two choices: chill marofy now and suffer later in some tedious boring underpaying job, or slog, slog, slog through the present and shape out a good life for ourselves.

I much prefer the latter.

You just can't put a title to certain things.

My unintentional hiatus from blogging has gone pretty long. But well, life these previous days was all about trying to make peace with boring routines, study, and the general absence of me-time.

I always feel there should be a place you can express yourself in without having to think how it would be interpreted in the light of non-context events...and I'm relieved none of all the people who know me personally , as in like everyday life, have the address to this blog. Except Best Friend, of course, and I don't generally put him in the same category as the other "all the people" . :)

Sometimes things strike you in full, complete realness just when you least expect them to. Drove past Best Friend's dad's office the other day and remembered him telling me they might have to move to another place. And suddenly I felt how really khaali-khaali it would be if that happened.
:(

Certain people are so much a part of your days, your life-- that you begin to wonder how you EVER lived without them, isn't it?
:)